A few things Steve believes in.
A discount shouldn't cost a dossier. If it's "10% off for your birthday," they need a birthday, not yours specifically. Steve's is April 1st.
A name is a login, not an oath. You're not joining Great Clips. You're renting their chair for twenty minutes.
The more Steves, the better. One Steve's shopping data blending into every other Steve's is the whole point. A crowd hides you better than a clever lie ever could.
This is for punch cards, not paperwork. Banks, doctors, landlords, the government — give them your real name. Steve's for the sandwich shop, not your mortgage.
Keep it funny. The second this feels like a cause instead of a bit, something's gone wrong.